I think this is funny as hell and clever. My sole comment would be to rework the first section so that readers are hooked by the sexual harassment material promised in the title but not delivered in section one until the section's last sentence. You could consider switching the title around so that Cicadas lead and then Sexual Harassment follows just in case some might be offended by an attempt at humor on an extremely sensitive topic.

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Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) 😬
Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) 😬

Written by Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) 😬

The β€œMD” & β€œum” in Medium, and the β€œer” in wisenheimer | Doctor Funny editor/czar | Sultan of satire | Party Pooper - Mostly on Trump's party

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