Hi Rachel - I too thought this was solid work but I would offer two suggestions. 1 - There's a bit of reality/expectation mismatch correction that could help your story. Perhaps it's just me but I think readers click into a story like this expecting it to be about them, with very clear directions for actions to take and a series of WIIFM-type takeaways. If you refocused with that in mind, the story might take off. 2 - I'd bring in some outside expertise/references to bolster your conclusions. If you are an expert in this area of psychology then so state, o/w consider calling in the experts from outside. Again, your messages are clear. It's the presentation that may be hurting your chances for success with this one. Best, Michael