Thank you for that feedback but I don’t see the title as clickbait.


PANDEMIC INFO WITH A DASH OF HUMOR

Just add water and serve. It’s instant science.

This’ll fuck with your noodle! *** Photo by M. W on Unsplash

It’s how all the best science is done.

Just like cup o’ noodles. Boil water and add to cup. Let sit for 3 minutes.

Serve to unsuspecting guests.

Oh, and don’t forget to stir in the bots, tracking devices, magnets, razor stubble from the devil’s taint and leftover effluvia from his bunghole bleaching. These all add flavor, and will give you something to discuss at school board meetings, Qanon rallies, evangelical picnics, and Republican fund raisers.

But seriously folks, how was the vax — that 80,000,000 of your closest friends don’t want — developed so quickly?

Check out this shoddy shit.

It turns out, that…


Explained by a doctor.

Photo by Galen Crout on Unsplash

Death

You’re going to die. There’s no doubt about it.

But if you receive a covid vaccine you are highly likely to die of something that’s not covid-related.

Get used to that fact.

If that disturbs you, feel free to OD on horse pills to potentially hasten your demise.

As is said in the world of toxicology, “anything if taken in sufficient quantity is a poison and can kill you.”

So, come to think of it, take your horse pills with a vast over abundance of water. That’ll drop your serum sodium level to such a critical point that you’ll suffer…


My right to swing my fist ends where your nose begins.

Photo by That's Her Business on Unsplash

My right to swing my fist ends where your nose begins.

So important, it’s worth repeating here.

It’s been said in a variety of ways and attributed to a variety of people, but the sentiment remains the same.

Freedoms, no matter how important, are not without limits.

Practical examples of this include speed limits on roads (you can drive, just not as fast as you may wish to), the prohibition against drunk driving (you can drink, and you can drive, you just can’t drive drunk), and various public health measures.

With this in mind, one could assert that mass vaccination…


Sadly … a limerick-based newsletter

Try not to be a pill *** Photo by Myriam Zilles on Unsplash

Doc Funny’s been working in Pharma^

Tho prefers to be hangin’ in Parma*

But we’ve hit two eighteen**

The highest we’ve been

Due to our excellent karma

Well that’s enough of that shit.

But, seriously peeps. The good “Doctor Funny” couldn’t have done it without you.

So many of you have contributed funny, clever, snide, sarcastic, ribald, witty, amusing, silly, cute, catty and chatty stories for readers to delight in (and viewers to partially delight in).

Then of course there’s my stuff.


While being hoisted by your own petard.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-on-black-tank-top-pointing-at-woman-on-white-long-sleeve-top-175704/

In yet another bit of (not) fake news, it is being reported that a (no reason to be) Proud (not a man) Boy shot himself in the foot.

He’ll recover, perhaps minus a toe or two, but what then?

Rather than let his oratorial skills go to waste, I see him touring the country, lecturing to throngs of adoring fans.


Or attempted murder? How about manslaughter?

Photo by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash

There may be others, but the first case of its kind I can recall appeared roughly 30 years ago.

https://apnews.com/article/1ae5f7df3b3fc630536e911e59248522

Then there’s this, from 2017:

I can still recall some of the first HIV/AIDS patients I saw in the mid-1980s.

They were mostly members of the then-feared and often-reviled, marginalized groups — sex workers, injection drug users, and gay men. They’d check into Yale-New Haven Hospital critically ill with various AIDS-related diagnoses, often several concomitant opportunistic infections, and die during their initial hospitalization. …


How have we sunk so low?

https://pixabay.com/photos/burnout-man-face-bullying-stress-3721062/

We’re a nation littered with willfully ignorant whiners, millions of science deniers embracing stupidity, wearing it as a mark of distinction.

Many have also decided to politicize common sense public health measures designed to keep all safe, resisting them without thought like petulant children denied a cookie.

This rough-hewn cabal comprises notable public officials, Qanon adherents, religious fanatics, animal ivermectin gulpers and many … many … many more.

Extending the so-called logic of their anti-mask, anti-vax, “Covid is not a thing” approach would have you believe that they’d also support drunk driving (since most won’t die), firing guns into crowds…


MAGA-netized after your vaccination? I’ve got your cure right here.

Which end of the ivermectin applicator goes in the patient? *** Photo by Europeana on Unsplash

I’ve GOTTA get me some of that $weet chee$e oozing from American idiots.

I’m forming an organization and calling it, Meshuganah A**holes & Gullible Airheads or MAGA.

I don’t think that acronym is taken.

Taken or not, it should look good on a black hat.

Michael Burg, MD (AKA Medium Michael Burg)

Putting “MD” & “um” in Medium | Top Writer sometimes | “Doctor Funny” pub owner | “Relationalable” | ER Doc in remission | mburg1955@gmail.com

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