“You have a fan” (you pitiful loser) — For entirely unclear “reasons”, Medium’s notification game has gone nuts. We’ve now got: someone else had the good taste to highlight something you had the good taste to have already highlighted there have been lots of claps and comments about your claps and comments, bravo shitbrick some deluded circus clown…

They can’t even get their own color right — Everything about white supremacy is wrong, horribly wrong. Every decent thinking person knows that. White supremacists are so wrong in fact that … They can’t even get their own color right. I’ll prove it to you. Follow along closely. See. This is white.

May 25 — one day early cuz I effed up — Welcome Fellow Funny Ones: Big news! Carlos Garbiras voted “The Wurst” June is gonna be: Fuck With Carlos Garbiras Month Famous Twitter dimwit and self-described “salchicha” (and friend of Doctor Funny) is in for a June shellacking. Write a story roasting this hotdog in whatever manner brings you joy. Please ensure that it brings joy to our…

And other tales of Twitter — It’s unclear to me why most social media sites exist. Twitter’s raison d’être however is crystal clear. Quips, quips and more quips. And, I do my best to satisfy Twitter’s hunger. If you’re a tweeter with a question, I’m a tweeter with a reply. Here’s how it’s gone. Q: What is the most unusual…

It would probably be wonderful — Twitter questions are the best. Ever wonder if you are just going to be a one hit wonder? Being the clever guy — AKA a-hole — that I am, I responded: I’d settle for becoming a one-hit wonder and would happily leave the “just” out of it. :-) But, the…

And why does Burg insist on referring to himself in the third person? It’s irritating. — A kind of “about me”, presented in a new and crazily exciting, but occasionally self-aggrandizing, and totally inane, way. Bio # 1️⃣ The “MD” & “um” in Medium * top rotter * Doctor Funny pub owner/flounderer * ex ER Doc * subscribe to get an email whenever I perish * I always finish what I st Bio # 2️⃣ The “MD” & “um” in Medium | my Top Writer categories are notoriously inaccurate | Doctor…

Exorcising my diplomacy Dear Sir or Madam: If you’re going to drive at freeway speeds through the supermarket parking lot … Be prepared to slam on your brakes and come to a tire-smoking, chest-vs-steering-wheel halt when I walk in front of your car with my shopping cart. If it was just me walking I know you’d kill me with your ‘beamer’ and wipe me…

Tell me true Terry Trueman, should I be pleased, honored, or something else entirely? — Surely you know that Terry Trueman, famous Medium dude and/or medium-famous dude, but probably not a medium, famous or otherwise, considers Charles Bukowski to be the finest poet ever AND the greatest dead person, ever. That’s fine, but stop calling me Shirley. Ask him, Terry that is, he’ll tell you. …