I could go on and on … so I will — We all get the message behind: “Dance like nobody’s watching.” But — like too many sprinkles on your ice cream cone, or too much Colombian marching powder on your nasal mucosa, or too many cooks in your “broth” — you can take the message too fucking far. Many have. Here’s…

36 cents in a year … REALLY?! — There are so many reasons to leave Medium in the rear view mirror. plummeting earnings the same 17.2 people get notified about, and view, and may read, your stories constant glitch-fest You name it. We got tsuris up the ying-yang, and plenty of other inconvenient places. Recently though, I read…

And other clever ways to boost your popularity as a writer — We all know the drill for popularity as an online writer: 🔥 write great stuff 🔥 read great stuff 🔥 engage … meaningfully The formula above is the lather — rinse — repeat of the writer’s path to shining success, and/or fabulous hair. …

Not what you’d think … of course — We all know that The Mango Mussolini has predicted he’ll be arrested. He’s followed that ̶w̶e̶l̶l̶-̶d̶e̶s̶e̶r̶v̶e̶d̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶t̶u̶a̶l̶i̶t̶y̶ “dire warning” with a plea to his MAGAT minions to riot, a la Jan 6th. But will they rise up and comply with his wishes? Many of these fine people, who sought only…

#flavored breathing … trending! — It’ll hit Twitter tomorrow, but it’s already trending on Medium. “What!” You may already be gasping in disbelief. “What is trending on Medium, and will shortly be trending worldwide due to the incredible power of the greatest free speech organ ever invented?” Flavored breathing, that’s what! I’ll explain. Recently, these three stories, extolling breathing’s virtues, have appeared.

That dude has figured out some shit — We always knew Philip Ogley had some shit figured out. But, now that a story of his has been boosted, he’s officially “the shit.” Presented here is Philip’s formula for success. 1️⃣ Modified listicle format with numbered paragraphs Take a break from my congratulatory, but ultimately self-serving shit, and read Puff Ogley’s story. …

Who are they, really? — Yeah, yeah, we all know what an Internist does. He or she practices adult internal medicine i.e. diagnosing and treating an array of medical ailments in adults. B O R I N G! That’s the text book answer. I’m here to tell you — with examples and telling tales —…

What will happen next — If you’ve missed the big news. Trump says he expects to be arrested Tuesday | CNN Politics Former President Donald Trump said Saturday he expects to be arrested in connection with the investigation by the…edition.cnn.com Here’s what will happen now. Moves the Tangerine Turd will be making in preparation for, or during, his arrest and incarceration. Extra bronzer If you’re going to be a prison bitch you might as well be the greatest prison bitch ever.

Quintuply vaxxed, and happy about it — Who gave this shit to me? Totally unreasonable, I know, but if I’m being honest, the thought did pop into my head and danced around up there for a while. I sure hope I don’t give it to anyone else. My girlfriend, Qin M, and I are merrily sharing exactly the same symptoms and on exactly the same schedule. I’ll do my best otherwise. We’re mini-quarantining…