Published in The Haven·1 day agoMember-onlyScrabble Discriminates Against My People“Yid”, “hebe” and “kike” are too words — I’ve got the Scrabble app on my phone. It gets a lot of love from me. I play so much phone Scrabble that the app icon is worn, faded and slightly dented. It’s my go-to when waiting. Train running late, Scrabble! DMV backed up like a recalcitrant toilet — and…Scrabble3 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·2 days agoMember-onlyResponding Moistly to Christopher Robin’s August Doctor Funny 12(ish)-word ChallengeA dewy double duo of almost-limericks soddenly stuck together — I take a challenge seriously. So, when I realized that it’s Moist Month at Doctor Funny AND Christopher Robin had thrown down another 12-word challenge I had to break sweat and go all out to respond. But first, here’s the pairing that caused the muggy mess. Woman Falls Asleep During Stabbing The August Doctor Funny 12(ish)-word Challengemedium.comDoctor Funny2 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·2 days agoMember-onlyLet’s All Help Our Writer Friend BichoDoMato Succeed With His Newest Business VentureNone of this is true, except the true parts — While wandering idly through Sevilla, Espana I came across the small billboard pictured above. Now I don’t mean I came across it. I was excited to see it, but this is NOT that kind of story. And I’m not that kind of dude. …Humor3 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·4 days agoMember-onlyHow to Shower Like a European Dude, or DudetteWithout getting the bathroom floor all wet — It’s “moist month” at Doctor Funny. See: Make Me Moist Month August is going to be wet and wild at Doc Funnymedium.com And: I’m traveling. There are many weird things about traveling. For example: 1️⃣ Why do the Dutch build a little shelf into their toilets so that one’s turds plop directly onto it, remaining untouched, and therefore unflushable, by the water in the bowl…Doctor Funny3 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·Jul 19Member-onlyMake Money Forever Without Ever Writing Another WordThe ultimate writing hack — It’s the ultimate writing hack. In short, do nothing, but continue to get reads and make money. But how? You ask, of the guru of passive income, Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) Well, I’ll tell you. But first, a little math. Writing on Medium is a full-time job. Everyone says…Writing2 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·Jul 6Member-onlyDoctor Funny HumpDay CheckupJuly 6th — Dear Ladies and Germs of Doctor Funny: First, the unfunny stuff. Or, as doctors say “this’ll only hurt for a second.” (Which is always seriously misleading, but gives you lots to talk about after the doctor visit.) This in turn reminds me of a joke. Doctor to the patient as…Newsletter3 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·Jul 4Member-only“Cardi B’s new single featuring Kanye West and Lil Durk is here”— The Top “What’s Happening” Twitter Happening, July 1, 2022Trend much? This is Hot Shit! — Go ahead, type “Cardi B” into Unsplash. On about page 4 or 5 you get the image above. I don’t know everything about the trio feat. in the title of this story, but I’m gonna bet the guy pictured above isn’t one of them. The madness all began yesterday when…Twitter2 min read
Published in The Haven·Jul 1Member-onlyThe Final Solution to the “Pro-Death” VS “Pro-Choice” Abortion Rights DebateIs my opinion showing yet? — I’ve thought long and hard about the abortion rights debate that seems to have everyone’s: panties in a wad knickers in a twist shorts in a bunch jockstrap in a crack (wait, that’s not a thing) balls in an uproar Whatever you want to call it. …Satire2 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·Jul 1Member-onlyJuly is “Melons” Month at Doctor FunnyBut keep your tits to yourself — We’re looking for boob, knocker, hooter, jug, chichi, stories. The funny kind. If you must write about breasts or the mammary glands, OK fine. Be all medical about it. The pub does have the word “Doctor” in its name. But under NO circumstances are you to stray into bird territory…Humor4 min read
Published in Doctor Funny·Jun 30Member-only“Happy Birthday, Taeyong” — The Top “What’s Happening” Twitter Happening, June 30, 2022Let’s see what happens, shall we? — Just spitballing here, but I’m gonna guess that Taeyong is a famous person, perhaps the member of a boy band, maybe a Korean boy band??? How is this hopelessly out-of-touch Boomer doing so far? In my relentless search for worldwide fame and fortune I’ve now embarked on a new campaign. …Taeyong2 min read